The War

She was dying, my whole life
but truly dying for only two weeks

I laid down my armor
I opened the gate to my emotional wall
I let everyone in, especially her, the princess

So child like with hardly a voice
she spoke to me as if I were a wizard

As if I, single handedly could fix
any problem that would arise in her tiny world
on yardarm drive

Most of the time I could
during those two weeks anyway

I made peace with myself and with her
I feel certain that she knew
despite the scars of the past that I loved her

The barbed wire fences were mended
no more stones left to cast
the war was over

She was gone
January 11th, 2013

The image haunts me
the coroner covering her face with a sheet
life is so short

It was quiet, so quiet and still
an emptiness in the pit of my soul

I hadn't wanted the fighting
I protested the war

It happened anyway
though no fault of my own
or hers really

She was a mere soldier
following commands
carrying out orders

Allegiance pledged to the one she had chosen

The casualty was me
cut to the bone time and time again
by words so razor sharp
I was gutted and never even felt the blade

I would retreat for a time
to rest, to heal
but I always came back because I loved her

The casualty was her
robbed of the chance to
know me, to know my boys
to truly experience
the love that she so desperately craved


Now she's gone
damn the war