A Life Worth Living

I haven't dated much
but what I do remember about dating

Is that there was passion
and you couldn't get enough of each other

Maybe that is why I am 45 and still searching

A couple of my recent relationships
were what I considered strange

I didn't know how to interpret them
it was almost as if they were speaking a foreign language

I have responsibilities, I have to take care of my mother
I have to take care of my animals.

I get that, I'm not asking for these things to be left for dead
since you are dating me

I think I once had the impression that I was all that
Now it would seem that I couldn't attract the biggest loser on the planet
(and I don't mean from the t.v. show)

I am just not used to dating someone and being the last thing on their list
a responsibility, a liability, an imposition

This is the second time that this has happened
in the past couple of years

It's starting to feel like the norm
rather than the exception

I know that people have been hurt

I have hurt people
and been hurt 10 fold for that already

It would seem that Karma is not a bitch
she is just very, very persistent

I used to think I could be worth something to someone
now I'm not so sure.....

The thought of being alone for the rest of my life
is not a good one

In fact it almost negates the purpose of living at all

My heart is heavy, my soul weighed down with sadness

So heavy in fact that it makes it hard for me to breathe