Boxes

I feel like I'm squishing my soul
into a bunch of small boxes.

I just hope that when I open them
it hasn't been damaged.

This is hard.....

A lot harder than I thought it would be.

I just continue to put one foot
in front of the other.

I'm so tired though,
so very tired.

Tears come and go,
small glimmers of excitement.

Questioning myself, my abilities
trying hard to treat myself with kindness.

Fear wanes and sadness swells
as this very large volume of my life
is coming to a close.

No do overs, no encores,
no curtain call, just fade to boxes.

Real Life

It isn't pretty sometimes
and it's not always fun

But if, at the end of the day
you can lay down beside the person
that you most want to share this life with and:

Laugh
Cry
Melt down
Pray
Fall into exhausted sleep
Toss and turn
Make love
Comfort
Eat cheesecake
Share secrets
Argue

Simply to know that your support, your love
will be there laying next to you at the end of the day

Helping to wipe the slate clean
to face life again in the morning, with a new and refreshed perspective

The ultimate source of strength and motivation
to stay close to the path that is unfolding with each new day

Laying one brick of life experience at a time
creating a firm foundation on which all future dreams will sit

That's real life
That's the future I'm creating

Winds of Change

Tonight I was blessed to share the company
of two of the most amazing women

At the same table, on the same page
sharing smiles, stories, sushi and saki

My satellites are starting to merge
and I feel a love for myself that I have not ever felt before

I am living and loving fearlessly
I am free to be myself and create my future

Sitting in that booth side by side for three hours,
couldn't have felt more right

My sweet South African Angel said,
"this is a great time in both of your lives"

She couldn't be more right

It feels so good to know where I am going
and who I want to go there with

It feels so good to love without expectation
to simply "be" love, without fear of consequence

My prayer is that this peace that I have found
will spill over into every aspect of my life

Creating a sea of love and winds of faith
strong enough to sail me into a future of health and happiness

I Prayed For Clear Signs

He told me, he showed me
I was not evil, crazy, or broken
I was simply.......

Afraid

Thank you Lord for the clarity
Thank you Lord for the peace
Thank you Lord for the long awaited answer

I am now free to create my future
a future that is

Healthy
Happy
Loving
Peaceful
Safe
Enduring
Passionate
Creative
Trusting
Considerate
Confident
Thoughtful
Spiritual
Affectionate
Kind
Exciting
Imaginative

and filled with pets, family of choice, children and grandchildren.