The One

she helps with
life's little tasks
that seem so mundane

she loves me
even when I
don't like myself

she knows when
saying nothing
is enough said

she makes me laugh
when it's the very
last thing I want to do

she misses me
when I'm not
around

she'll stay in an
uncomfortable position
when I fall asleep on her
because she
doesn't want to
wake me

she always
makes time for me

she is what
she appears

I can believe
what she says

she's

uncomplicated

always shares

makes me feel beautiful

makes me feel
like I'm the only one
she's ever loved

is loved by
everyone she meets

but loved
most of all
by me

she's

the one

A Grown Up World

All of me
slow to heal

Guiltless power
don't want to feel

Understanding
deprivation

Swallowing
life's realization

Another lifetime
I'll be back

Curtain call
fade to black

Stronger growing
silent still

Beautiful flower
on a window sill

Trumped up courage
relentless pain

Drops on the window
tears of rain

House of cards
the joker's wild

Pile of lies
defenseless child

Clay to mold
with sins to fear

When will sickness call

Silence growing
conclusions drawn

Discontentment
goes on and on

Broken promises
empty words

Grey on canvas
pictures of birds

No wrinkles
no mess

Less clutter
less stress

Heat's too hot
air's to thick

Two steps forward
hit a brick

In the door
out the door

Our neighbors
our friends

Rounding second
headed for home

Confusion never ends

So hard to find
an invisible self

Beauty becomes
everyone else

Black to white
dark to light

Each day a war
wake to fight

House of mirrors
locks on doors

Painted shudders
polished floors

Pig tails pony tails
the cutest little girl

Struggles still
in a grown up world

The Circus

would somebody please help me understand
I was good, I did what I was supposed to do
I graduated, went to college, got married, had two children

I believe I got my sister's conscience
as well as my own
I couldn't even have a mean thought
without feeling guilty, still can't

the good girl, always so thoughtful
their pride and joy
"we love you"
"we're so proud of you"
"you'll always have your family"

I left when she said we had to go
stopped crying when she told me to, after my dad left
tried to understand a grown up's world
I was just a little girl

we're leaving, we're staying
your father doesn't love me

he's leaving, getting an apartment
your father doesn't love anyone but you

he doesn't love your sister
he can't stand your grandparents
he doesn't care about anyone but you

he's selfish
unsocial
hates animals
a bastard

your grandparents adore you
they are such good people
so good to us
they never deny you anything

your father has never liked them
all he cares about is you

my sister and her absent conscience
was it gone or did she choose to ignore it

was my father's lack of love
to blame for her problems

or

was it that she constantly heard
"your father doesn't care about anyone but Kim"

a circus of martyrs
masters at escape
escape from blame

masters of illusion
creating only what
they want you to see

watch us saw the girl in two
half for her father, half for us

as long as it's advantageous

you're not the girl you used to be
so angry, take a look at yourself

we love you, we love you not
we're so sorry we forgot

forgot that you were human too
not an object to be held on to

you're with us or you're against us
what are you going to do

just remember if you're with us
you're against your father too

go ahead make your choice
we won't hold it against you

why did they have to saw the girl
if they never planned to share

why not just make her vanish
vanish into thin air