In God's Pocket

Again, I pick myself up and dust myself off

Each time seems to be more difficult than the last
the cuts get deeper, the scars more visible, wounds slower to heal

This WILL be the last time, I will NOT have to pick myself up again
because of this, because of her, because it never really mattered anyway

Protecting myself, my health, my emotional well being
must be my number one priority

No more trying to convey my sorrow
no more letting it eat me up, from the inside out

I will take my bag packed full of lessons
and move forward now, looking back only when it's safe again

I don't know when that will be, if ever
but for now, I need only look forward anyway

I am stronger, less self absorbed, but more self caring
it's my truest self that I must long for, no one else

Someone so very dear to my heart and soul
recently gave me a book of Answered Prayers

"Allow me to risk while I protect your heart. I am large enough for you to be small. Picture this. There is a pocket above my heart. It is there that I carry you. You are safe."

I love this quote, I can picture myself there, in God's pocket
such a wonderfully comforting image.

My Best Girl

One Of These Days

I'm going to sit down and write and write and just let everything flow out of me like water pushing against a dam that has just been broken.

Right now I simply have to hold it all back. I don't know why but it just wouldn't flow even if the dam were to break.

It simply will not come. It will not flow, it just trickles.

I do believe that my inner passion manifests itself in two forms, love and writing. I am truly having difficulty giving freely of either right now and I wish I knew why.

My guess is that I have injured myself and it will just take some time for the healing process to complete itself.

For now, I find comfort in reading the words of others. I read and read, soaking up quotes and books. I enjoy spending time alone more than I ever used to. Maybe this is just a solstice in preparation for a really big creative purge.

A glorious time when I can embrace life, write and passionately love myself, so as to authentically give these gifts to another.

Thought Provoking

I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was, at its best, than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.

~Margaret Mitchell

God I Wish I Could Dance

What a wonderful gift
to be able to express
passion in such a beautiful
art form

I feel that passion
stirring inside my soul

To live a life
without being able
to express that passion

Is living absolutely
no life at all

Looking forward to,
"So You Think You Can Write"

Wreck of the Day

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And the light's always red in the rear-view
Desperately close to a coffin of hope
I'd cheat destiny just to be near you
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On love

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And I'm thinking 'bout calling on Jesus
'Cause love doesn't hurt so I know I'm not falling in love
I'm just falling to pieces

And if this is giving up then I'm giving up
If this is giving up then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On love

And maybe I'm not up for being a victim of love
When all my resistance will never be distance enough

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And it's finally quiet in my head
Driving alone, finally on my way home to the comfort of my bed
And if this is giving up, then I'm giving up
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On love

The Long Way Around

Well I never seem to do it like anybody else
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
If you ever want to find me I can still be found

Takin' the long way around

~The Dixie Chicks

The Best Birthday Ever

His Navy Dog Tag to keep forever
Him to squeeze on number 42
My PaPa

A World Inside A World

Many times each day, I step out of my world
and cross the threshold into the world of another

Someone who's world has been displaced for a time
by a planned surgery, a serious accident, or a crippling illness

I become part of their world by default, a lotto of sorts
I may see them once or twice and then never see them again

But each and every time I turn to recross that threshold
my hope is that I have left their world just a little brighter
than it was before I walked in

Amen

"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."

~Harvey Mackay

Got U-Haul?

Conscience

The human voice can never reach the distance
that is covered by the still, small voice of conscience
~Mahatma Gandhi

Red 2 Go!!

No More I'm Sorry's

No more I'm Sorry's
The language is leaving me

My Heart

Blowing gently back and forth with the wind
exposed to the elements for long enough now
I have taken it down off the line

I have pressed it, fluffed it up
and put it right back where it belongs
in the care of only those who take great care with it

Fresh and sun drenched
mended and renewed
it's whole again, ready to love and be loved

My Heart

The Light At Each End of the Tunnel

I finally feel like I am far enough through the tunnel
that the haunting light behind me is disappearing
and the brilliant light in front of me has come into focus

Random

activities

change

inner comfort

anger

time

quiet

sustaining

children

growing

learning

trying

safe

family

truth

responsibility

acceptance

forgiveness

courage

embracing

manipulation

importance

love

ideals

self image

perfection

health

knowledge

wisdom

patience

trust

God

Angelkisses

I do still love you!!! I'll be in touch soon!

Happy 84th Birthday PaPa!!

Around In Awareness

"Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness."
~James Thurber