The Circus

would somebody please help me understand
I was good, I did what I was supposed to do
I graduated, went to college, got married, had two children

I believe I got my sister's conscience
as well as my own
I couldn't even have a mean thought
without feeling guilty, still can't

the good girl, always so thoughtful
their pride and joy
"we love you"
"we're so proud of you"
"you'll always have your family"

I left when she said we had to go
stopped crying when she told me to, after my dad left
tried to understand a grown up's world
I was just a little girl

we're leaving, we're staying
your father doesn't love me

he's leaving, getting an apartment
your father doesn't love anyone but you

he doesn't love your sister
he can't stand your grandparents
he doesn't care about anyone but you

he's selfish
unsocial
hates animals
a bastard

your grandparents adore you
they are such good people
so good to us
they never deny you anything

your father has never liked them
all he cares about is you

my sister and her absent conscience
was it gone or did she choose to ignore it

was my father's lack of love
to blame for her problems

or

was it that she constantly heard
"your father doesn't care about anyone but Kim"

a circus of martyrs
masters at escape
escape from blame

masters of illusion
creating only what
they want you to see

watch us saw the girl in two
half for her father, half for us

as long as it's advantageous

you're not the girl you used to be
so angry, take a look at yourself

we love you, we love you not
we're so sorry we forgot

forgot that you were human too
not an object to be held on to

you're with us or you're against us
what are you going to do

just remember if you're with us
you're against your father too

go ahead make your choice
we won't hold it against you

why did they have to saw the girl
if they never planned to share

why not just make her vanish
vanish into thin air